Often there appears to be a debate or duality between the Idea of a Monastic, or Householder Pathway in regards to deep spirituality, or intense devoted discipline. Actually there is no difference and the Same Teachings of Self-Realization apply no matter where one may be in life and the apparent circumstances may be.
The Absolute Truth is not negated nor propagated by any relative truths. On the contrary all Relative Perceptions depend on the Absolute Reality of Self-Illumined Consciousness for their very Perception to occur. There is nothing which is outside of or excluded from Siva (Pure Consciousness and Sakti's(Power to Experience) Omni-present Dance. Even everything in relative perception bares the reflection of That Infinite Spinning Dance.
Relationship is a perfect example, and opportunity for Devotion, self(ego)-surrender, and Self-Realization in the Highest Ideal of Divine Love. This article discusses ways of bringing Awareness to the Opportunity of Sadhana and the Highest Self/God-Realization within Relationships...
Love Everyone, Serve Everyone, Remember God" -Maha Siddha Neeb Karori Baba
The simplicity of the Teachings of the Masters, the Unspeakable Knowledge of Self/God-Realization is related with perfect clarity in the quote above from the Great Master Neeb Karori Baba. Nothing has been left out, but to clarify Neeb Karori Baba says "Sab Ek" All One. This is the whole Truth, there is nothing that negates That.
Whatever you are looking at now is an opportunity to "Practice the Way". Sure the Mind can shape-shift in Infinite possibilities of scenarios using anything as an excuse to avoid having to actually face Reality. Your partner, your family, and your children are an opportunity to, Serve, Worship, and Remember the Infinite ONE. Whoever it is, and even that inert rock thought of as unconscious - is an opportunity to cultivate and emanate an attitude, of Respect, Reverence, and Divine Unconditional Love.
The Truth of the All Pervasive Supreme Self, is present as the Light of Awareness in All. Anything you know about formal worship or reverence can be performed towards your spouse and children. In India there are festivals where Kumaris (young girls) and Vatukas (young boys) are dressed up and venerated as Gods and Goddesses in the way of formal puja and food offerings. The purpose of this Ancient rite is remind us that Worship and Veneration does not belong only in Temples and Shrines. But that this True Divine Love for the One Seen in All is the very means for transmuting and overcoming all of our tensions and difficult circumstances in life.
The True Temple of the Supreme God is the Heart in You, in All. This is the Reflection of Siva (Consciousnesses) and Sakti (Possibilities of Perception/Cognition) which is the very Nature of Infinity. Self/God-Realization is certainly synonymous with Love.
Bring the Light of Awareness back to Itself; this is your job. Realizing the Truth and Love are your own Job, not for someone else to do, nor for someone else to meet your expectations as. In every moment we find ourselves - that is the opportunity to practice Awareness, Choose Reality, the Simple Truth, and reflect That Back as Love.
This is not limited to Romantic Relationship, but is every relationship to everything that is perceived as external (the other) to bring Awareness back to the Ultimate Truth and Reality of The ONE. "SAB EK"-Neeb Karori Baba SAID! There is no "other" than God/dess, Siva (the Self)and Sakti (Power to Experience) in the Ever Spinning Tantric Dance.
This is so Simple, so many words do not elaborate, every different branch of the Teachings is the Same in Essence. The tricky or Sticky part is that the Power of the Self to Experience Being (Sakti) really is Infinite and Unlimited, thus we can keep spinning different scenarios forever.
Darshan Baba in his travels, Sadhana, and Tapasya in India would often meet men there who would sadly say they felt that Darshan was lucky to be able to live a "Holy Life" of sadhana, that they were not free to do so as they had married and had families and now it was too late. The mind can pick whatever it has at hand as the reason for dissatisfaction. That is just the game of mind. Darshan would always say that there is no difference, worship your wife and children as God.
Philosophy is of very little use. Be pragmatic - taking up the practice of cultivating awareness to have the opportunity to choose rather than react; to Remember the Truth and thus act with Reverence, Respect, Devotion, and Love to the Supreme Being. The only One with whom "you" are ever relating.
"Sab Ek, All One"
With the Realization of this Supreme Truth how can there ever be any Duality between "householder" or monastic practice? There is only the Simple Truth of Love, All Pervasive Awareness of Self.
As Haidakhan Babaji Said:
"Truth Simplicity, and Love"
Neeb Karori Babaji
"Serve Everyone, Love Everyone, Remember God..."